Red;

The only two people that used to call me ‘red’ all the time are not really in my life anymore.

One of these people is my mom, who actually is in my life, but not that much. We really don’t talk as much as we used to.

The other is Devin Crofts, and I really don’t talk to him anymore. It sucks, because even though my mom always called me that, he came up with it on his own. And for five years it was my name whenever he spoke to me. It used to make me think of Jim and his nickname for Pam on The Office. Kinda cute like that. Regardless, he really messed me up, and now I don’t think I could ever speak to him again.

This year other people actually started to call me it, which was really nice. It isn’t that I need to have a nickname, or that I really care if people call me that or not, but it is nice to associate it with someone other then Dev.

I wish that I had never dated him, letting him fuck our friendship up. I don’t know if I will ever have a best friend quite like he was to me, so long ago. I hate that I dated him. It seriously messed everything up between us, and it is one of the things in my life that I seriously regret.

You can’t really ever go back. As hard as you try. But if I could, I would keep him as my best friend, and I would never have let that one night happen.

I really do miss having a best friend, sometimes.